Ep1: Breaking the mold of traditional career paths: don't settle, try everything

In today’s episode of “That’s Real” we delve into the fascinating story of a journey that breaks the mold of conventional career paths. Tiffanie shares her experience in exploring different careers across different cities over the past 10 years and emphasizes the importance of embracing change, exploring diverse interests, and not being afraid to step out of your comfort zone. The underlying message? We all should feel empowered to try different things to discover what truly aligns with our passions and goals.

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Transcript

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If you change course and move towards something that is more aligned for you than what you were doing before, that is the biggest step forward you could take even if you know on the outside it looks like a step back. I'm telling you, if it's something that you know is aligned for you, that is the biggest step forward you can take for you in your life. Hey, friends, hey. And welcome back to That's Real. A podcast where we learn and discover more about ourselves through the stories, life lessons and experiences of others. I'm your host, Tiff. And please don't forget, if you hear something on this podcast that resonates with you, that makes you say that's real, that you're feeling, please share with a friend, family member, anyone who you think could benefit from it. And I would also love if you could share on Instagram and tag me at it's Tiffany Davis on Instagram. But O-M-G, can you guys believe that this is my very first podcast episode? Like, I literally just finished recording the intro. Oh my God, I'm just so excited that the pod is finally here and we get to dive into all things life and how to navigate it. So, what I wanted to dive into today is a comment that was actually made on the show that I watch that I actually am kind of obsessed with right now called Black Cake. Let me know if any of you guys are are watching that are watching this if you're watching the podcast. So if you're watching the podcast on YouTube, comment below if you are listening, feel free to shoot me a DM, but I'm obsessed with this show. So if you guys haven't watched the show. So Black Cake, it's a show on Hulu and it basically follows the life of this girl named Covey who grew up in Jamaica. And I don't want to like give any spoilers, so let's just say she grew up in Jamaica, went through a certain experience that made her move to a different country, and she's now sharing the story of her life with her children. And there's this one part in one of the episodes that I just recently watched where her husband is talking to one of her children. And he basically and he's really frustrated with her because, you know, he spent all this money to send her to college and then she dropped out and she's like trying all these different things. And he says to her, like, you can't just pick one thing and stick with it. Kind of like you're always trying to do all these different things, like you can't just pick one thing and stick with it. So if you are someone who watches the show, you kind of know more of the backstory and maybe why he would have said something like this to her, because, of course, she's absorbing his resources and whatnot. So this isn't really about that. You know, it's it's more of about, you know, as young adults, there is so much pressure for us to have it all figured out and know exactly what we're supposed to be doing for the rest of our lives. And personally and for my life experience, I'm not really sure if that's the best approach to life, and I'm going to get into it and share with you why. So I'm so grateful to have attended Howard University and, you know, been able to have a college experience. But I did feel that pressure of, oh my gosh, like, what is it that I really want to do with my life? And at 18 years old, which, you know, was the age that I went off to college, I really had no idea. And it kind of makes sense, right, Because I had, you know, now knowing what I know now in my thirties, it's like I look back on 18 year old Tiff and I'm like, that girl hadn't even experienced life yet, but she was tasked with, you know, picking something and choosing a path for herself at such a young age. And I think that that's what a lot of... to be honest with you. I think it's what a lot of young people do struggle with, right? Like feeling that pressure of having to figure it out and knowing exactly what they want to do for the rest of for the rest of their lives at such a young age. And for my parents, it's like once they graduated from college, they kind of stayed in their same industries for the rest of their lives. And I feel like when they saw me, you know, just switching majors and switching careers, they were kind of like, what is going on? Like, what is this girl doing? And I have to say, I am so grateful that I switched careers, switched my major in all the things because I feel like if I hadn't, I would have never really discovered what I truly love to do. So, you know, for me, when I attended college, when I first attended college, I was an accounting major, which those of you guys who know me and have been following me for a while, you know that that could not be further from what I was sent here on this earth to do. So I attended Howard freshman year as an accounting major, and it was more so because I kind of thought that that's what I had to do. That's kind of like how you made money. My dad was an accountant. It was kind of all that I had really been exposed to, even though deep down I knew I was, even though deep down I knew I was creative, I knew I was into fashion. I knew that I hated math. I'm going to be completely honest with you, Just wasn't my strong suit. But I was just kind of like, I guess, you know, being an accountant is just what I have to do. It’s the way to go. And I will never forget it was my, let me see I think it was my junior, was it my junior year? I think it was middle of junior year where I was in intermediate accounting and my friends and I were studying for this test and I got to class the next day to take the test and I was like, I'm about to fail this class. I am about to fail this class. And for me it was so scary because I'm a perfectionist, okay? I'm someone who always strives for the best, you know, typically got good grades. So for me at the time, I was just like, Oh my God, this is going to ruin my GPA. Like, I can't fail this. I can't fail this class, okay? And it really made me start to think about like, okay, accounting is just not for me. It's not what I'm good at. I'm about to have damn near an anxiety attack because I'm about to fail this class. What else is out there for me? You know, what are the things that I could do outside of accounting? And so I started exploring. And a really good friend of mine, Shenise McKnight, was really into PR and because she was so into it and I saw how it lit her up, I was like, Ooh, maybe I should maybe I should, you know, give PR a try and maybe that's something that I could be good at. And it's really funny because we ended up ... me, her, my friend Victoria, and I believe I believe Lauren was in it too. We started this PR company in college called Smart People PR and it was just something that I loved to do. I was like, Oh, this is fun. Like, this is a little bit more along the lines of what I, what I what I felt like I could maybe be good at. So I started looking into switching my major to PR, but ended up not working out because they were kind of like, Oh, if you want to switch your major, you know, you haven't taken all of the prerequisites to be up to speed with, you know, the juniors who are PR majors. So I started, I saw I was like, okay, maybe it's not PR, maybe it's marketing. And I decided to then switch my major to marketing to still kind of be in the school of business at Howard, but not but not take a step back, which there's a lot I could share about that. Again, in my 18 year old brain. I just wanted to graduate with my friends, so I was like, let me just do marketing. It's still something that I kind of like to do, you know, a lot more than accounting. But oh, and once one second cause my computer is about to die. One second. Whew, okay, we're back. So anyways, I ended up switching my major to marketing and loved it. It was way more aligned for me. I was like, Oh my God, I just switched my major. Like to me it was the biggest thing ever because I thought that you had to again, pick one thing and stick with it, right? Similar to what... Similar to what the father had said in this show, Black Cake. And for me, that was the first time that I experienced, you know, changing course in my life to move on a path that was more aligned for me. I ended up starting to pursue a career in fashion because that's something that I was so, so into and moved so far away from accounting. And again, although my parents weren't thrilled, you know, I was super happy with the decision and I ended up getting a job right after I graduated to work in San Francisco to work in fashion merchandizing, which is something that I thought I could see through. Like I really thought that fashion merchandizing was for me that that was kind of like going to be my long term career. But then of course, I get into fashion merchandizing. Okay. And what I'm about to share with you guys, I don't think it's just a result of the job itself. I think that the team environment was a contributing factor, but I ended up being so miserable in this position. So miserable, you guys. I was so anxious every day. I did not have the best manager or best support, I have to say. I do think that things could be... I do think to this day. do think that things would have been a little bit differently if I had, let's say, a healthier team environment, but I was just like, this is not. So long story short, I ended up quitting that job with nothing lined up. Nothing lined up. I was so scared for what was next for me. I moved back in with my parents to try and figure out next steps. But I was miserable because again, I was coming from the place of you got to stick, you got to pick something and stick with it. After I quit, you know, my dream was to move to New York City and find a job working in PR. And it's so crazy because one of my mentors at the fashion merchandizing job that I was working at, and she was just kind of like, it's every girl's dream to move to New York and work in PR It's never going to happen for you. So I do feel like there were a lot of outside forces telling me, You just have to stick with this. Like it's never going to happen for you if you change course again. So once I you know, once I decided for myself that I had to change course if I wanted a shot at a healthy career, it was really hard. It was really hard for me. But I didn't end up I did end up moving to New York City and working in PR and and was a lot happier initially. But again, that was another but that was another time where I, you know, again, changed course to try and figure out more about who I am, what I like to do and what could be a more fulfilling career for me. And guys, I'm really sharing the story not to encourage anyone to just like flat out quit what they're doing, whatever they want and whatever. I do think that, you know, you have to be dedicated into giving something a fair shot, but I'm sharing it more to say in your twenties, you should be trying everything under the sun to figure out, you know what you should really be doing in life and to really uncover who you truly are. And I wish that there was someone who told me that because in every change and every change that I made in my life, there were always so many people telling me that I was making a wrong decision and I shouldn't be, you know, switching up my life so much and I should really just be sticking to the same thing. Had I done that, I would have never been on this path to really discover and uncover who I truly am and what I was really sent here to do, you know? So I moved to New York City. My parents, God bless their souls, helped me move in to this apartment. And I'm liking life. I'm living with two of my best friends. I'm having the time of my life in New York City, but I reach a point, I think this is about two years in where I just felt so unfulfilled with the work that I was doing and not to mention the company that I was working for was a little sus. Was a little shady. It was this boutique PR firm that, yeah, there were there was definitely a lot of things going on behind the scenes. You know, I interviewed with so many different companies just trying to figure out like, okay, maybe it's not PR, you know, maybe it's just the company that I'm working for. Maybe I do need to give this another shot, you know, with a different company or a different brand or what have you. So I start I started applying for all these different jobs. I started interviewing for all these different companies. And every door kept shutting in my face. Every door was telling me like, this isn't for you. You need to redirect your path. And I was just kind of like, like not again, because this whole like me having to change course me having to redirect my life in some way was happening I would say like every two years or so after I graduated from Howard, I would say every two years or so, I found myself in this position where I was feeling super unfulfilled and I was having to change course. So I was just kind of like, oh, no, not again. But I thank God that I was feeling so unfulfilled and wasn't comfortable with my situation. But because it again pushed me in the direction toward something that was more aligned for me, which for me was moving to Paris to pursue my MBA in luxury brand management, which was a huge move, a huge transition, a huge risk that I took in doing that. There were a lot of people around me who were not happy with my decision, who were kind of looking at me like, here she goes again, changing course, doing something different. She again is like not happy in what she chose. So she's picking something else and I got a lot of heat for that. I got a lot of heat for changing course yet again. But in my gut, I knew that it was something that I had to do because I knew that if I had stayed in the situation that I was currently n, I wasn't going to get anywhere. So I feel like, you know, from that, from an outside perspective and at a time in society where I feel like people weren't just like up changing jobs as frequently as they are now To other people it looked like I had no idea what I wanted to do. I had no idea what I was doing. I was just trying all of these things and taking all these risks and whatnot. For me and in my heart of hearts, it was, I'm looking for I'm looking to be fulfilled with what I'm doing in life. I don't want to settle. And I feel like something like that is really hard to explain to people who like your parents, for example, who just really want you to succeed. in one thing and just really want you to be happy and set up for life, you know, for them, they're just kind of like, Oh my God, we're scared for her. We're worried. Like, we don't know what she's doing and she's making all of these decisions and trying all of these things where that that keeps setting her back in life. But but I will say for me, in every different career, career switch that I made and honestly, most of most of the career switches that I made resulted in me having to take a step back. I see now, now that I'm on the other side of it, that it was the biggest step forward that I could have made. If there is one thing that I want you guys to take away from this episode, I would say that it's if you change course and move towards something that is more aligned for you than what you were doing before. And that is the biggest step forward you could take, even if you know on the outside it looks like a step back. I'm telling you, if it's something that you know is aligned for you, that is the biggest step forward you can take for you in your life. And I'm not going to go into too much detail about life in Paris. I feel like I need to save that for another another episode. But I will say that it was a life changing experience for me. I grew so much just personally, professionally, you know, I ended up working for a luxury beauty giant in Paris, which was which was an amazing experience. You know, I learned so much, but had I just, again, stuck with one thing or stayed on one path, I would have never had that experience. I would have never had that experience. So, you know, it's really hard for me when I hear things like stick with you have to choose one thing and stick with it, because I'm someone who has tried a lot of different things and I'm so grateful that I've tried so many different things because it put me on a path towards figuring out what is truly aligned for me. And that would have never been possible if I just stuck with one thing. And again, I just really wish that there was someone in my corner who was telling me this because what I was getting was a lot of just you know, we're scared for you. We're worried for you. You know, you can't stick to one thing. You're trying all these different things. And I will say in every different situation where I changed course, where I tried something new, I always landed on my feet. I always did. Was it scary? Was it hard at times? Was it a struggle at times? Yes. But looking back on it, I wouldn't do it any other way. My life would look so much different now if I had stuck with accounting, if I had stuck with fashion merchandizing, if I had, you know, stayed working in PR for that company that I knew just wasn't benefiting me at all. You know, if I stayed in any of these situations that did not feel aligned and didn't bring me fulfillment, I would never be where I am today and where I am today. it's like, you know, I will say life definitely isn't perfect, but I do feel like I'm, I do feel like I'm in a phase of life where I do feel like I'm really I'm truly where I'm supposed to be. And it does feel aligned for where I'm at right now. And another thing to is, you know, life happens in seasons and every season doesn't last forever. It's not meant to. So in one season, something could feel so aligned for you. Just like I was saying, you know, at the time when I started working in fashion merchandizing, it did feel truly aligned for me and it did feel like that was a step that I needed to make at that point in time in my life. I met some of my closest friends today. Through that experience, I made lifelong long friends. Through that experience, I learned so much, you know, a lot of things that I learned in my role in fashion merchandizing are things that I can even apply in my role today as being a Director of Social for this creator agency. So that was truly aligned for me at a point in time. But a year or two later, it wasn't anymore. And that's okay. And I would say the same for, you know, working in PR. At a point in time that was truly aligned for me. It was what I really wanted to do. And I was growing and I was thriving. But I felt like once I learned all that I could learn in that role and I didn't feel like I was growing and progressing and I was starting to feel and I was starting to feel unfulfilled, It was time to change course again. Same with me living in Paris. And you guys...You know, for those of you guys who have been following me, you know, on my content creation journey, there was a point in time where Paris was so aligned for me, it was exactly, you know, I knew that it was exactly where I was supposed to be. I got my MBA. I was working out there. I started my YouTube channel out there. But there came a point in time where I was like, this is not resonating with me anymore. And I don't feel good being here anymore. And some of you guys can even see it in my content, right? Like, I just wasn't feeling like myself anymore and it was time to change course. And I think, you know, that's something that's really important to know. To note, too, is, is to pay attention to how you truly feel in certain situations. I do truly think that if you can really check in with yourself and do a gut check, like, why am I feeling this way? Why am I feeling super anxious? Why do I feel so drained from, you know, working in this job or in the situation or what have you? You really, truly check in with yourself. You have the answer on whether or not you should continue to be in that situation, work at that job or do that thing. And I think it's really important that we can pinpoint when that happens and acknowledge those feelings and know when it's time to change course so that we can live a life that is truly aligned for us, a life that we feel super fulfilled in because we chose a new path. We chose to do something that we knew was more aligned for us, you know, in this moment and in that moment in time. But I really wanted to share this with you guys. And for anyone who is feeling like, Oh my gosh, like I really feel so stuck in what I'm doing right now, but I just have to stick with it. No, you don't. Whether it be work, a relationship, whatever it is, you do not have to stick with anything that doesn't feel right for you. And I do think that there is a way and I do think that there's a better way to do it than, you know, my you when I was in my early twenties and I just quit with nothing lined up, that's not something that I would recommend doing that was really, really hard. I do think that there is a way to I do think that there is a way to change course in a way that isn't as big of a burden as what I might have experienced. But I but I do think that it's necessary for us to switch things up. And we know in our gut that it's not right for us. And and I also want to say, because this just popped into my mind, I do think that there is a difference between knowing that something truly isn't aligned for you and changing course and just quitting because something is a little bit challenging or just quitting because you don't want to put the effort in the work in. I feel like those are two very different things. So I want you guys to keep that in mind. But shifting into something that could be higher aligned for you and my book, that's the best thing that you could do for yourself, and I hope that you do that and I want more people to do that. We also don't know what, like outside forces are contributing to the decisions that we make. For me, when I was younger, I was just listening to what my parents wanted for me. And you know what my parents wanted me to do and what made the most sense to them at the time. I wasn't really listening to myself and what I wanted to do. So I would also encourage you to look at your situation and think about like, is is the situation that I'm in now a result of me and what I truly want, or is it a result of outside forces and people telling me what I should be doing or things that I think I should be doing based off of other others opinions and what other people think? And if what you're doing as a result of that and not a result of what you truly want for yourself, might be time to jump ship. You know, I'm not saying that making a major life change to do what could be more a line for you is easy because in every change that I made in my life, it came with me at times being really scared to do a lot of anxiety, me worried if I was even making the right decision and me taking a major risk. But I'm so glad that I tried all these different things and I am so glad that I did it. But I do... I'm. I'm with you when it can be really scary to take that step towards doing something that you feel could be right for you, but maybe you're not exactly sure. But would you want to live a life knowing that you never tried? You never went after some of those things that you really wanted to do? There's something in me where it's like when I have my mind set on something and I really want to do it. There's nothing that can prevent me from doing it, even if it's like the biggest risk. And it's really scary and I'm like freaking out about doing it. There's something in me that's like, Tiff you have to do this. And I don't know where that comes from, I truly don't, because I will be so scared and freaked out. I will be so scared and so worried, but still trying out these new things. Okay. But that for me has always been my driving force. Like, if not this, then what? You know, if you don't try for what you truly want to do, what's the other option? You're going to stay in the situation that you're super miserable in. And for me, that's just not an option. And I also want to say this isn't to say, you know, again, when life gets challenging, you have to switch, change course and figure out an easier way to do life. That's not what it is. Because even sometimes the things that you really want to do can be the most challenging, can be the most difficult. So it's not about finding an easier path, it's just about finding a path that you truly feel good about and you feel is worth putting in the effort and worth overcoming the challenge for. That's what I want you guys to take away from this. So I really wanted to share this with you. You know, just as I look back on my life and just see that pattern of being so stressed out because I couldn't stick with one thing because I couldn't choose one thing and stick with that. And then, you know, hearing, hearing this on this show that I honestly love, you guys should really watch this. You should really watch the show Black Cake if you haven't already. But I also do think that where we're at in society right now, I feel like it's a bit more accepted to try different things and switch careers and, you know, figure out what's best for you. I think that when I grew up it was just kind of a lot more of you do one thing and you pick it and it's what you and it's what you do for the rest of your life. And I was just kind of like uhh not I, not me. So if any of you guys are feeling that pressure to have life all figured it out I don't care if you're in your twenties, your thirties, your forties, your fifties, if you keep going, if any of you guys feel are feeling that pressure or feeling bad because you're no longer loving the thing you chose, it's okay. It's okay to change course and I truly hope that you do. So if anything that I said in this episode resonated with you, please make sure to share with friends, family, whoever you think could benefit from it. And also, I would love if you could share on Instagram and tag me at it's Tiffany Davis. Would also love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Feel free to send me a DM, Shoot me an email. If you're watching this on YouTube, you can find my email in the description box of this video, but I would really love to hear from you. I would also just love to hear your stories and if you guys have had any experiences like what I've just shared with you today. So to my real ones, thank you so much for listening, watching. and I really hope that you can take something away from this episode that you can apply to your own life. Can't wait to hear from you on the parts that resonated with you the most from this episode. Write to me. DM Email me. Do all the things. Thanks for tuning in and I will catch you in the next episode. Bye.