Ep5: 5 BIG life lessons for clarity & confidence in 2024 (that 2023 taught me)

In this episode of “That’s Real,” Tiff explores the five pivotal life lessons she learned in 2023 that are shaping her journey into 2024. She unravels the wisdom gained from this past year, covering themes such as manifestation tips, navigating relationships, unlocking your fullest potential, and more. Discover how these lessons can give you clarity and confidence in the new year and guide you to live a life that's highest aligned for you. 

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Transcript

Hey, friends, it's your girl Tiff
and you're listening to it.

That's real.

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I am so happy that you're here.

Thanks so much for tuning in
and let's dive into this episode.

Hello, my

real ones, and welcome
back to the podcast.

I hope that you guys have all been having

a very restful and relaxing holiday break.

I actually just got back to L.A.,
not yesterday, but the day before.

When did I come back?

Yeah, not yesterday,
but the day before I came back to L.A..

I went home to Boston for the holidays.

I went home for Christmas and it was
so nice to see family and everything.

But O-M-G,
it feels like everyone is getting sick.

Everyone.

Like when I got home,
my mom was super sick.

I think she kind of
had a flu or something like that.

Then I caught it,
and then I gave it to my sister's fiancee

and it was just a whole thing.

So the Davis’ were just a tad bit under
the weather during this holiday season.

But I am so grateful
to be feeling so much better now.

And I swear this tea is
what did the trick. My get.

well tea.
If you guys have been following me for a while.

You probably already have heard me

talk about this tea.
but if you are ever feeling sick

and especially during this like,
and especially during this winter season,

honestly, it's a tea
that I should probably drink every day.

But if you're ever feeling sick,
I'm telling you this tea does the trick.

So you're going to boil ginger lemon

tumeric, garlic, one bay leaf.

What else do I put in there?

Pepper and honey, ground pepper and honey.

Let it boil for like 15, 20 minutes
and drink that baby up and trust

and believe you will be feeling better
in the next day or so.

I will say
it doesn't really taste that good.

It's like an acquired taste.

It's something
that I definitely had to get used to.

But when I tell you, it
knocks colds and flus

and whatever right out of me,
that tea is like a miracle tea.

So I highly recommend that to you.

But again, it doesn't taste that great,
but it will help you feel better.

So yeah, I drunk that tea
as much as I could while I was home,

and within like a day or so,
I was feeling better. But 

I do feel like something is going around

because the amount of people in my circle
that have been sick

and not even just sick, but like sick
for extended periods of time.

Like, honestly,
my mom had not been feeling

well since Thanksgiving,
so it's been like a month, which is crazy.

So stay safe out there, stay hydrated,
get your liquid I.V.,

get your get well tea get all the things,
because, yeah, there is

definitely something going around.

But yeah, it was it was really good
to be back home for the holidays.

We didn't do anything
too big for Christmas.

It was just the fam at home in our pajamas
all day, watching movies,

opening presents,
eating really good food. Oof!

When I tell you
the food over the holiday season

gets me every time. For Christmas dinner,

my Uncle, who is like an amazing,
amazing cook,

made this prime rib that was like,
rubbed in this like garlic butter, parsley

type of sauce situation and oof,
that baby was good.

And then he also made me some gluten free

garlic mashed potatoes
that were the bomb with some green beans.

What else did we have?

I know I'm missing something,
but that Christmas dinner. Oof!

There's nothing like a good home
cooked meal over the holidays.

Okay, but guys, I literally cannot believe

that 2024 is around the corner.

Literally tomorrow,
if you guys are watching this, the day

that I posted, which I should be posting
this on New Year's Eve

2024 is literally tomorrow.

It's just it's and I say this every year,
but it's it's so crazy

how fast this year has gone
like I can't believe

that I'm coming up
on a year of living in L.A.

So I moved to L.A.

in January of 2023
and wow, I just it's crazy.

I can't believe that I've been living here
for a year.

It's it's just so wild
how fast your life can change.

But I will say it
definitely has taken me up until now

to feel settled into life in L.A.,
although I definitely

still have a lot of exploring to do.

I will say like I'm
finally at a point where I feel like

L.A. is home for now.

But 2023 came with a lot of life

lessons, and I'm actually really excited
to share with you guys today.

I definitely learned a lot,

but I feel like every year
I'm always learning something new.

I'm always evolving in some way
as we all are right, But

I just feel like 2023

came with a few powerful lessons,
some new and some that

I kind of already knew from
just previous life experiences.

But there was something about this year
that made them stick

or that made me really start to want

to apply certain lessons to my life.

And I'm excited
to share them with you guys today.

So in this episode,
I really want to talk through a few of the

most powerful life lessons
that I've learned this year

and that I will definitely be
taking with me in 2024.

And life lessons.

I also hope that you guys take
and apply to your life in some way

if you haven't already.

So the very first lesson
that I want to share with

you guys is something that I call
the law of least effort.

And this lesson came to me
actually not too long ago.

I want to say a few months ago.

So I was in the midst of just like getting
back on YouTube, filming all my content.

And there was this one video
that I really, really wanted to film,

and it's the one around me

like reinventing myself
and rebranding myself for social media.

It's already up on my YouTube channel, so
you guys can go check it out if you want,

but it was just a video
that I was really excited

to create,
so I was so excited to create this video.

And I sat down and I started to script out
like what I wanted to say

because I will say usually for YouTube
videos, not so much for podcast episodes,

but sometimes I do.

I like to at least, like have some bullet
points down of what I want to talk about.

So I was sitting down

trying to script out this video

and my first approach

to the video was like,
Okay, I need to give everyone

like the best tips on how to rebrand
and reinvent themselves.

And I want them to like,
really find value in this video.

And I want there
to be a ton of key takeaways.

And I literally started Googling like best
rib, like how to rebrand yourself

and all of the stuff as if
I didn't already know how to do that.

And it's so funny, right?

Because, I mean, not only have I,
you know,

created a brand of my own, so it's like I
know how to brand myself, but

as my

full time job, it's like I am
a director of social.

It's like I'm constantly
working on branding strategy

and whatnot, and I have my MBA
in luxury brand management.

It's like I,
I already have the tools within me, yet

I was searching for them
outside of myself.

What happened in that moment

when I started searching for the answers
outside of myself

is I started getting frustrated
and I started feeling overwhelmed.

I started I started to feel like
I was hitting a wall when it came

to scripting out this piece of content.

And I was like, Why is this happening?

Why can't I script out this video?

And scripting out videos is something
that I've been doing for years,

ever since I started my YouTube channel,
what, like three or four years ago?

Your girl knows how to script out a video,
okay,

But for whatever reason
it was just not working that day.

And I was so pissed,

you guys.

I was so pissed. I was so annoyed.

I was so frustrated. I was so over it.

I like, went to bed
damn near crying that night.

Like, I was just not having it.

And I really want you guys
to take this part in.

And it's actually something
that my friend and I were literally

just talking about earlier today

because she was just talking to me about
like how she was just feeling

really frustrated and overwhelmed with
like a lot of things that she's doing.

So I'm sitting in this funk,

okay, this funk of
I can't believe that I can't do this

simple thing
that I've done a million times before,

and I can't believe
that I'm hitting this wall.

And why is it so freaking
hard for me to do this right now?

And I kid you
not as I was going to sleep that night,

this message came to me
of the law of least effort.

It was kind of like I was being told
that it doesn't have to be this hard.

It really doesn't.

And that I myself was making things
super complicated and it was a lot about

just taking a step back, doing what feels
natural to me, doing what feels in flow.

And out of that I'll be able to produce
the type of content that I want to produce

that it wasn't about searching
outside of myself to get the information,

but it was about looking within
and just going with the flow.

And it was almost as if God was telling me
like,

Tiff, I want you to pursue
something that feels good,

that feels natural,
that feels easy to an extent.

And when I say easy, I'm not saying that
like the things that you want in

your life

should never be challenging or whatnot,
but it's more about pursuing those things

that naturally feel good versus
those things that feel like a force.

Those things

that you feel like you have to go above
and beyond and put so much effort into.

And I mean, I do think that, you know,
sometimes the things that you want,

sometimes the things that you're good at,
will require a certain amount of effort.

But I don't think that the

type of effort it requires is

the type of effort that

feels that feels insanely overwhelming,
or they are like, you're hitting a wall

or like you're super frustrated
trying to do this one thing.

I don't think it's that type of effort.

I think it's the type of effort
that brings you joy that you're excited to

do that feels again, good and natural
and like you're in flow.

It was kind of like
that was the message that I was getting.

So the very next day
I decided to approach, you know,

creating this video with that mindset,
with the law of least effort,

with, you know, doing
what came easily and naturally to me

versus feeling like I had to script out
the perfect piece of,

you know, valuable content
and everything just flowed.

So the law of least effort for me,
this year has been a huge learning

and something that I'm
definitely taking with me in 2024.

Yeah, I don't know.

It's just I've I'm grateful
that I've done so much in life,

right from just,
you know, the more traditional approach

to life of going to college,
getting my MBA,

working for big corporations,
smaller corporations

to, you know, being an entrepreneur,
pursuing like personal endeavors

like YouTube, my podcast,
even before back in Paris,

when I had launched, you know, my classes
and courses and whatnot.

And I think in every endeavor

that I've pursued,
I've just learned so much

about
how I personally want to operate in life.

You know, I've I've been in situations
that have caused me

so much stress and anxiety,
so much to the point where I was

physically getting sick,
you guys, where I was

literally stressed out of my mind,

trying to perform this job
and working on this team.

And it was just so unhealthy.

And I honestly never want to be
in a situation like that again.

I've also I've also, you know, found
myself in situations in entrepreneurship

where I've burned myself out,
where I ran myself down

trying to achieve

what I thought was success.

You know, I just truly feel like now
what I deem successful again is not

I have to work
so hard to achieve the super hard thing

that's so frustrating
and so exciting inducing and so stressful.

It's now I want to feel really good
and excited about what I'm creating,

but I also want to take care of myself.

And I also just want to do the things
that fill me up inside versus drain me.

That's what it is.

That's what it is.

Okay,
so now I'm moving on to the next lesson.

So this next one,
this is also a big one for me.

So this is actually
what I've come to realize

is the fastest working prayer
that I've ever said,

that I've ever witnessed
and experienced ever in life.

And it's something that I feel like I say

maybe twice a year or so

or just whenever I feel like it's time
And the prayer slash intense inside

in the prayer slash intention
setting goes like this.

So I say out loud,
show me the intentions of those around me

and God, whoever is truly aligned for me,
please keep them in my life.

Whoever is not, please remove them.

I'm ready. When I tell you guys again,

this is the fastest acting prayer

and every single time I say it,
I start realizing things about people.

I start seeing what's underneath
the surface.

I start realizing what the true intentions
are of those around me.

And I will say when you say this prayer,
when you set this intention,

you better be ready for what's to come.

Because sometimes the things
that come about

after setting this intention
and saying this prayer will be so

unexpected, will be so like, Wow,

I did not see that coming,
that you literally just won't believe it.

But when I tell you, every time I do this,
my life gets

I won't say that my life gets shaken up,
but it's more so

I'm I'm just made aware of who's
truly aligned for me and who's not.

And I would say one of the best examples
of, you know, seeing

just how quickly this worked in my life
was, I will never forget

I had set this intention
and said this prayer on a Wednesday.

And by that Saturday,

when I tell you someone's true
colors started showing

and you know what they say,

when someone shows you their true colors,
you better believe them.

I was like, Whoa, this is insane.

Literally, in a matter of what,
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,

Saturday and a in a matter of four days.

This prayer had worked through my life
and showed me what I needed to see

so that I could then so that I could
then decide, you know, how

I wanted to navigate life
with knowing that information.

But it is just so crazy, guys.

Just the power that lies
in the words that we speak.

And when you have just an open curiosity
and pure intentions

to just want what's high
aligned or you in your life.

It's so interesting to see how things in
your life will happen to get you there.

And at times that means, you know, having
to remove certain people from your life.

And, you know, I used to feel really bad
about letting people go for my life.

I really did.

Like, even if it's someone who hurt me
or had done me

wrong or whatnot,
like I used to feel so, so bad

about letting people go, But,
you know, then I realized something.

And what I realized is, you know,
you just honestly never know

what your energy could be
getting caught up in that's preventing you

from living your highest aligned life.

And we also only have so much energy.

So if we've spent so if we're spending,
let's say, 50% of our energy,

either with people or in situations
on projects that aren't aligned for us,

then all of that energy is being used up
on the wrong things and we can't welcome

in the energy that could serve us
and that is aligned for us.

And, you know, me just saying that prayer

and setting that attention again
is just a way for me to kind of

I wouldn't say reset,
but just ensure that I'm constantly

being surrounded by people or welcoming in
project situations, what have you, that

are truly aligned for me and aren't things

that are kind of sucking up my energy.

And I know when I said that intention
setting or prayer the first time,

it was kind of around, you know, please,
you know, whoever is aligning for me,

please let them say, whoever is not,
please let them leave.

But you can also do this with project
situations, work, what have you.

It's just kind of a nice way to again,
just ensure

that you are constantly operating

or it's just a way to ensure
that you are constantly kind

of navigating life
in a way that again feels good for you.

And it's funny because that's something
that I've kind of always said

every now and then, but I think this year
I just started to notice

how quickly it works through my life
and how important it is that I do that.

So that's another big one that I am
definitely taking with me in the New Year.

So okay, I just have a few more.

So the other one, the other big lesson
that again is one that I've,

I feel like I've known for a while, but
it's something that really stuck with me

this year is the importance
of being neutral to all that you desire.

And what I mean by that is,
and especially when you're, you know,

manifesting something new in your life
or you're trying to,

you know, call in, you know,
your next level or your next chapter

or the next thing that you really want
to do or accomplish or what have you,

if you are not neutral to it,
if you are coming at it

with this energy of I want, I want,
I want or I need, I need, I need.

And you're constantly thinking about it.

It's constantly on your mind.

You're almost desperate
for this thing to happen.

When you're approaching it
with that energy,

it pushes it further away

versus if you're neutral to it

and you're like,
Hey, this is something that I desire.

It's something that would be wonderful
if it were to happen in my life.

But at the same time, I'm grateful for all
that I have, and I'm not going to stress

about getting this thing that I desire
because I know that it's coming.

I know that it's mine.

It has my name written all over it
so I don't have to worry

and I don't have to stress
and I don't have to grasp at this thing

because I know in my heart
that it's already mine.

When you approach things in life
with that type of energy,

all that you desire moves closer to you.

And it's hard, right?

It can be really hard to get neutral
to those things that you want

because I mean, you want them,
you want them to happen and you're excited

for those things to happen.

And sometimes you can get worried

about whether or not
those things will happen in your life.

But I'll also tell you this.

There's this book by Oprah
Winfrey called The Path Made Clear,

where it's basically a collection
of all of these thoughts

and lessons
of just very successful people.

And there's this point in the book
where Oprah is interviewing

Kerry Washington, and she says that
whenever she asks for something, whenever

she desires something, she knows that
God always has three answers for her.

And those three answers are yes,
and she receives what she desires.

Yes, but not right now.

Patience is a virtue. Or no,

because something
even better is on its way.

So knowing that is something
that has really stuck with me

and has helped me get neutral to all that
I desire.

Because again, it can be really hard.

I'm not going to sit here
and say that I'm a master manifester

who can always be neutral

to all of the things that I want
and all of the things that I

want to
manifest, because that's just not true.

Being neutral to what you want
can be really, really tough.

But if you can manage
to get into that place of neutrality,

what you want will want you.

Because I think another thing too, is

if you're constantly going through life,
right, you're every day.

It's like,
I want this thing, I want this thing.

What you're showing God in the universe
is that you don't have it.

And when you're
constantly on that frequency,

that's what's going to be radiated

back to you versus
if you're in a constant state of mind of,

Yeah, I desire this thing,
but I already know it's mine.

I already know it has my name written
all over it.

I also know that if it's not this, it's
something better.

When you're operating on that frequency,
that's what's going to get mirrored

back to you.

Okay.

What else do I got?

So then just a few more that I have.

So another one is the let them theory

that I actually learned from the Mel
Robbins podcast.

And the theory basically says,
you know, instead of getting so worked up

and feeling disappointed and feeling sad
because people in your life aren't

operating how you, quote unquote,
want them to operate.

And when I say want them to operate,
it's less about a control thing,

but it's more about, you know,
if you feel like someone's not respecting

you in your time or if you feel like

you know someone has wronged you
or someone

maybe doesn't have pure intentions
when dealing with you or someone

has a hidden agenda or what have you,
just let them let them act.

How ever they want to act and release
your need

to control the outcome you focus on.

How are you going
to navigate the relationship

now that you know that they are this way?

So, for example,
you know, if you know that someone

is always making rude
comments, always disrespecting you, always

degrading you, etc., etc., fine,
you can do that.

But on my end, maybe you're someone
who I don't give access to,

maybe or someone who I don't need around
all the time maybe, or someone

who I need to remove from my life
and what have you.

Let people do what they need to do
and navigate life

however they see fit for them.

And you do the same for you.

And then the last lesson
that I want to share with

you guys is the importance of “be time.”

And this is actually something
that my osteopath shared with me

is just setting aside,
even if it's like 5 to 10 minutes

every day to just be in
whatever way that looks like for you.

So, like for me, for example,
that could just be putting on

some really good songs
that I really vibe to and just listening

and dancing and just being myself

and doing whatever feels good to me
within those 5 to 10 minutes, you know?

And she was telling me
that this is so important

because it allows you
to just fill yourself up with you,

for you to be who you truly
and naturally are in this world.

And the more you can do that,
it's like the more you'll get inspiration

to pursue, you know, certain things
that again, are just so true to you.

Because I do really think that, you know,
I kind of talked about,

you know, just my idea of success
a little bit earlier,

but I do really think that when you pursue
those things

that are true to you, that, again,
have your name written all over it,

that that's where true success lies in

you doing those things that are you.

And the more you can spend
time in your God given energy

and just again, filling yourself up
with those things that make you you,

the more that inspiration can flow.

So honestly,

that's something

that I've I've tried to do
and it's something that I kind of learned

towards the end of this year

and something that I really want to do
more of next year.

I think I'm going to definitely make sure
it's part of my daily routine

because routine is something that I really
want to work on next year for sure.

But yeah, just having
just having more be time,

even if it's just 5 to 10 minutes, is
something that I really want to work on.

But yeah guys 2024. It's nearly here.

I mean, it is here.

I mean, by the time
I'm sure a lot of you guys

listen to this episode,
we will be in 2024.

I honestly am really excited
for this upcoming year.

I really, truly am.

I just feel like, again,
it's going to be a lot about operating

through ease and flow
and think I'll do a whole episode around,

you know, just goals
and intentions for 2024.

And you know what I'm

what I'm really trying

to focus on in January
to kind of set my ears up for success.

That's definitely an episode I want to
I want to do for you guys.

But yeah, I just again,
I cannot believe it here.

So friends, that's all for me.

And that's a wrap on 2023.

Oop, not me rhyming.

Thank you so much as always for watching.

If you're watching this on YouTube,
for listening, if you're listening to this

on one of your favorite podcast apps,
you have no idea how much I appreciate it

and I'll chat with you in the New Year. Bye!